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Dear Right Eye
Jul. 31st, 2007 08:39 pm Yes you. Grow up. You are nearly thirty, and have rights and responsibilities. You have the right to not be poked with sticks, you have the right to be protected from harsh lighting, you have the right to be kept in good order. You only have one responsibility, and that is to provide me with sight! I know it's not really a fair deal, 'cos Lefty gets to be looked after but doesn't have to work for his keep like you, but for the love of all that is good and proper, please BEHAVE! The blurriness and double vision is bad enough, but now you won't focus, and you're hurty as well. This means I have to sit on the bed all day,because anything else is too dangerous.
Using iZoom at 3x magnification is a miserable experience, but now it is the only thing I can do to browse the intertubes in search of drama, and stop me getting bored and destructive IRL.
If only life had a built-in magnifier! So please, Righty McRighteye, give a girl a break! I'm starving, but too scared to attempt to cook, and the only options left are Aero mint balls and a bit of cheese.
I have also just realised that spider thwartation would be almost impossible in my current state, eep! I'll reply to my outstanding comments when this has worn off, because unfortunately it's begun crashing iZoom whenever I try.
Hungryhungryhungry.
Using iZoom at 3x magnification is a miserable experience, but now it is the only thing I can do to browse the intertubes in search of drama, and stop me getting bored and destructive IRL.
If only life had a built-in magnifier! So please, Righty McRighteye, give a girl a break! I'm starving, but too scared to attempt to cook, and the only options left are Aero mint balls and a bit of cheese.
I have also just realised that spider thwartation would be almost impossible in my current state, eep! I'll reply to my outstanding comments when this has worn off, because unfortunately it's begun crashing iZoom whenever I try.
Hungryhungryhungry.
Justifiable Homicide
Jul. 30th, 2007 11:17 pm Nothing scares me more than spiders. Nothing. There are many entries here where I speak of being so freaked out that I can barely breathe, due to an unwelcome arachnid.
I was having a great day. Pub for dinner - £12 for both of us including two lovely meals, her Coke and my delightful double vodka and mango and orange and stuff. Cheaper than cooking the same stuff at home, also avoiding the risk of being poisoned by the oven. Got my period in the pub, with a simultaneous accompanying asthma attack. 500mg of terbutaline later I'm a shaking, agitated mess. The vodka I'd consumed did not help!
Then Transformers, 'cos we had cinema vouchers. Was a tad miffed that a few cockwombles saw fit to bring toddlers to see a film that finished at half-eleven, but karma's a bitch, and now they have to explain masturbation to said fidgety nippers.
Brilliant film. Only, I'd fidgeted so much after taking terbutaline, and I'd had tramadol, that I fell asleep. Giant fucking monster-robot-aliens POW POW KA-BOOM Zzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm sure they were only microsleeps because no-one was gawking at me in a horrified "Did someine bring a pig to the pictures?" way. Also, there was no drool on my chin. Ahem.
Went home, singing all the way back (as I do, and anyway Satan has rejected my soul, and Trouble does love me, it's all relevant). I was on a promise too, wahey. Got back, played with the furry doombeasts while Lisa showered, then put them away and went to bed. I was perched on the edge of the bed transferring files onto the thumb drive when something caught my eye. This was about 2am. Please bear in mind my current visual ridiculousness, and the current cluttered state of our room. Oh yes my friends, a fucking great black shiny menacing fast-advancing Monster of Death was approaching me, and meant to kill.
A brief pause, so you can conjure up the image of a fat purple-haired mackem, wearing only a t-shirt, screaming so loud that blood bubbled up from her mouth, and made the entire house (nay, village) ring with screams that could only emanate from a murder victim. A beautiful image, yes. And I know you're thinking "Haha at least you didn't throw the laptop at it Lyns!". Oh but I fucking did, then legged it onto the landing.
Now try and imagine you had been sitting on this same bed, in your dressing gown, having just showered. You are playing a relaxing game of mobile phone Solitaire, when suddenly, your beloved starts howling like a banshee and throwing laptops around. Pffft, have no sympathy for her, she knows the drill!
Anyway, I'm on the landing, still screaming and sobbing and vomiting and..ugh. She says "What, WHAT?? Where is it?" (told you she knew the drill). I'm sobbing, and pointing. "Where? Under the laptop?" She lifted it and this fucking black brute crawled out and shot under the bed. "ARGH OH FUCK that is big, even I'm scared! It's under the bed now, just leave it, it'll be ok" Ohhh Lisa, you did not just say that. Recommence screaming in 3...2...1.... So she dutifully hops onto the floor, and squishes it. Normally she wouldn't, but the laptop had done it severe damage. Meanwhile, I'm still on the landing in tears, refusing to come back into the room. The rabbits were going mental, because the screaming had scared and annoyed them. They stamped and growled for a whole hour, and only stopped when I threw food at them.
About half an hour later, after being convinced to go back in the room, I became convinced it had laid eggs or was only a baby and it's much bigger parent would appear, probably during sex. Did some terrified Googling (ever tried reading about something that terrifies you?) half trying to convince myself I would be ok, half trying to convince her it was probably poisonous and was after my blood.
"Put the laptop down, now. You are shaking, and you won't sleep"
She was right you know. Spent all night sweating, too terrified to open a window or let any bit of me peek out from under the duvet in case something black, and white, and evil attacked me.
I'd assumed my hysterical screams (still can't talk today btw) would've woken the boys next door, as their room adjoins ours. They slept through it, but Paul's dreams were, at one point, suddenly filled with distinctive looking spiders. Sorry Paul, my brain-Bluetooth musta been switched on!
I've spent all of today a terrified, panicky mess. Saw some dryer fluff hanging from a shirt today and nearly had a heart attack! I must be descended from some race of people who lived among deadly arachnids. I must. I can't just be an irrational, hormonal muppet, can I?
I was having a great day. Pub for dinner - £12 for both of us including two lovely meals, her Coke and my delightful double vodka and mango and orange and stuff. Cheaper than cooking the same stuff at home, also avoiding the risk of being poisoned by the oven. Got my period in the pub, with a simultaneous accompanying asthma attack. 500mg of terbutaline later I'm a shaking, agitated mess. The vodka I'd consumed did not help!
Then Transformers, 'cos we had cinema vouchers. Was a tad miffed that a few cockwombles saw fit to bring toddlers to see a film that finished at half-eleven, but karma's a bitch, and now they have to explain masturbation to said fidgety nippers.
Brilliant film. Only, I'd fidgeted so much after taking terbutaline, and I'd had tramadol, that I fell asleep. Giant fucking monster-robot-aliens POW POW KA-BOOM Zzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm sure they were only microsleeps because no-one was gawking at me in a horrified "Did someine bring a pig to the pictures?" way. Also, there was no drool on my chin. Ahem.
Went home, singing all the way back (as I do, and anyway Satan has rejected my soul, and Trouble does love me, it's all relevant). I was on a promise too, wahey. Got back, played with the furry doombeasts while Lisa showered, then put them away and went to bed. I was perched on the edge of the bed transferring files onto the thumb drive when something caught my eye. This was about 2am. Please bear in mind my current visual ridiculousness, and the current cluttered state of our room. Oh yes my friends, a fucking great black shiny menacing fast-advancing Monster of Death was approaching me, and meant to kill.
A brief pause, so you can conjure up the image of a fat purple-haired mackem, wearing only a t-shirt, screaming so loud that blood bubbled up from her mouth, and made the entire house (nay, village) ring with screams that could only emanate from a murder victim. A beautiful image, yes. And I know you're thinking "Haha at least you didn't throw the laptop at it Lyns!". Oh but I fucking did, then legged it onto the landing.
Now try and imagine you had been sitting on this same bed, in your dressing gown, having just showered. You are playing a relaxing game of mobile phone Solitaire, when suddenly, your beloved starts howling like a banshee and throwing laptops around. Pffft, have no sympathy for her, she knows the drill!
Anyway, I'm on the landing, still screaming and sobbing and vomiting and..ugh. She says "What, WHAT?? Where is it?" (told you she knew the drill). I'm sobbing, and pointing. "Where? Under the laptop?" She lifted it and this fucking black brute crawled out and shot under the bed. "ARGH OH FUCK that is big, even I'm scared! It's under the bed now, just leave it, it'll be ok" Ohhh Lisa, you did not just say that. Recommence screaming in 3...2...1.... So she dutifully hops onto the floor, and squishes it. Normally she wouldn't, but the laptop had done it severe damage. Meanwhile, I'm still on the landing in tears, refusing to come back into the room. The rabbits were going mental, because the screaming had scared and annoyed them. They stamped and growled for a whole hour, and only stopped when I threw food at them.
About half an hour later, after being convinced to go back in the room, I became convinced it had laid eggs or was only a baby and it's much bigger parent would appear, probably during sex. Did some terrified Googling (ever tried reading about something that terrifies you?) half trying to convince myself I would be ok, half trying to convince her it was probably poisonous and was after my blood.
"Put the laptop down, now. You are shaking, and you won't sleep"
She was right you know. Spent all night sweating, too terrified to open a window or let any bit of me peek out from under the duvet in case something black, and white, and evil attacked me.
I'd assumed my hysterical screams (still can't talk today btw) would've woken the boys next door, as their room adjoins ours. They slept through it, but Paul's dreams were, at one point, suddenly filled with distinctive looking spiders. Sorry Paul, my brain-Bluetooth musta been switched on!
I've spent all of today a terrified, panicky mess. Saw some dryer fluff hanging from a shirt today and nearly had a heart attack! I must be descended from some race of people who lived among deadly arachnids. I must. I can't just be an irrational, hormonal muppet, can I?
The Simpsons Movie was fab. I laughed more in the first five minutes of the film than in the last five years of episodes.
Reasons it was so great? No awkward, grating celebrity performances, it wasn't overlong, and the animation was gorgeous.
I want more though, and I can't wait to see it again.
edit: woohoo, Spiderpig ringtone!
Reasons it was so great? No awkward, grating celebrity performances, it wasn't overlong, and the animation was gorgeous.
I want more though, and I can't wait to see it again.
edit: woohoo, Spiderpig ringtone!
Someone tell me what "OMG this is fucking fabulous!" is in Gujurati. I just made some of that traditional savoury cake from Anjum Anand's recipe, and it's absolutely amazing stuff. It's just semolina, yoghurt, tempered seeds and spices and veggies. Took no time at all, looks very impressive and tastes gorgeous. Hope my samosas and curry turn out as well!
Irony is dead
Jul. 12th, 2007 03:00 pmOh my stars. The sheer fucking cheek of Richard *spit* Littlejohn, presenting a documentary about the far-right persecuting a minority group! A veritable lollercoaster of irony and fail. Wanker. OH... oh wait, what's this on the screen now, a scary pakistani bloke? Ah it all makes sense now, the whole programme's yet more thinly-veiled, anti-immigration (ie. anti-muslim) propaganda. Wonder if he has any idea of the Mail's history?
Nom nom nom
Jul. 12th, 2007 12:01 amDamn you Anjum Anand! I'm bloody starving, I have no yoghurt or garam masala in the house, and your clearly evil new cookery programme has made me want to rustle up some delicious foods!
OK, Lisa had an incident a couple of months back, where the silly moose had two puffs on a cigarette (naughtybad!) before having a 4mg Niquitin lozenge, then came home from work. Not surprisingly she felt sick. I'd made curry that night, so her brain now associates curry with nausea. I'm sweet and kind so I've stopped cooking it, although I have been demanding frequent Chicken Badhami or Balti from the local curry house. I can't not have curry. The mere thought is anathema to me. I love that feeling at the back of my neck when I get a good, deep hit of the smell of spices and seasoning. Really gets my endorphins going.
That said, I must start making my own again. I miss it. I miss frying, and chopping my own stuff. My "Curry-aversion cure-all" (heheh, yeah, 'CACA'!) will involve making new, delicately flavoured Indian dishes, and bringing Miss Buttonseses tastebuds back in line. Anjum Anand's new progrmme has inspired me. I'd rather learn to cook new stuff than do absolutely nowt for 4 more months.
Things I will make:
-paneer - it sounds right up my alley, and too simple not to bother with
-the savoury Gujurati cake-thing with veggies in
-potato and veggie samosas
-coconut pan-fried halibut
And anything else my own (admittedly malfunctioning) brain can dream up.
Fab. "What's for tea tonight then?" you ask. Erm.. southern-fried chicken steaks and Super Noodles... Oh shut it! *hides in the loo*
OK, Lisa had an incident a couple of months back, where the silly moose had two puffs on a cigarette (naughtybad!) before having a 4mg Niquitin lozenge, then came home from work. Not surprisingly she felt sick. I'd made curry that night, so her brain now associates curry with nausea. I'm sweet and kind so I've stopped cooking it, although I have been demanding frequent Chicken Badhami or Balti from the local curry house. I can't not have curry. The mere thought is anathema to me. I love that feeling at the back of my neck when I get a good, deep hit of the smell of spices and seasoning. Really gets my endorphins going.
That said, I must start making my own again. I miss it. I miss frying, and chopping my own stuff. My "Curry-aversion cure-all" (heheh, yeah, 'CACA'!) will involve making new, delicately flavoured Indian dishes, and bringing Miss Buttonseses tastebuds back in line. Anjum Anand's new progrmme has inspired me. I'd rather learn to cook new stuff than do absolutely nowt for 4 more months.
Things I will make:
-paneer - it sounds right up my alley, and too simple not to bother with
-the savoury Gujurati cake-thing with veggies in
-potato and veggie samosas
-coconut pan-fried halibut
And anything else my own (admittedly malfunctioning) brain can dream up.
Fab. "What's for tea tonight then?" you ask. Erm.. southern-fried chicken steaks and Super Noodles... Oh shut it! *hides in the loo*
As promised, baby pics and a gratuitous kitty-pic. My bloody right arm is killing me after holding the 'tiny newborn' for an hour. Seriously, for six days old she's a proper little bruiser. I have more pics on our phones, but these are the camera ones.
Ooooh Ahhhh
Jul. 7th, 2007 09:40 pm I know it's probably just me, but I love substituting song lyrics for other words. That's why I've been dancing round the house today singing #COCKWOMBLES... OOOOH AAAAHHHHH...# to the tune of 'Rock Lobster' by the B52s.
Aye, it's the little things that keep me from going mad with the boredom while I wait for the missus to return home from work at half-midnight. That and talking to the rabbits in an Eastern European or Irish accent.
Speaking of the little missus, she just texted to say that she got a grade 4 on her PRP evaluation, that means her August pay will be 150%! Niiice. She would've had a five if she hadn't been ill in January. Hope the taxman doesn't fuck us over too badly, and that we can get something nice like, oh,a git big massive lcd telly a functioning oven! A 500 degree oven is not fun. It's so hot the door seal has melted, and every time I cook I get heatstroke.
So well done Lisa, you've worked hard for your first 4, and I'm super-proud.
*dances*
#De doo doo doo do-do doo doo doo doo, De doo doo doo do-do doo doo doo doo, cock wooo-oomble...#
Aye, it's the little things that keep me from going mad with the boredom while I wait for the missus to return home from work at half-midnight. That and talking to the rabbits in an Eastern European or Irish accent.
Speaking of the little missus, she just texted to say that she got a grade 4 on her PRP evaluation, that means her August pay will be 150%! Niiice. She would've had a five if she hadn't been ill in January. Hope the taxman doesn't fuck us over too badly, and that we can get something nice like, oh,
So well done Lisa, you've worked hard for your first 4, and I'm super-proud.
*dances*
#De doo doo doo do-do doo doo doo doo, De doo doo doo do-do doo doo doo doo, cock wooo-oomble...#
8lb 14! My stomach hurts thinking about that. Anyway, welcome to the world Madison (I know, I know. I call her Madge). May all your powertools be pink ones. Thank you for being a few weeks late and waiting until after payday. It's a kindness your lesbian aunties appreciate, and a clever way of ensuring your birthday is always celebrated lavishly!
Too funny to not share.
Jun. 27th, 2007 09:40 pm So, I've been trolling posting on a UK based Madeleine McCann related site. Nothing harmful, just playing Devil's Advocate and trying to point out that abduction is the least likely scenario. Anyway, some of the more militant Team McCann supporters have variously accused me of being a 'peaderflile', a 'nonse', a 'siko' etc. Water off a duck's back. However, a couple of nutjobs started calling me 'raceist' and 'bigitted'. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. So bemused, I asked. It's taken three days, but this is what the silly cow said:
"So what does “Vote Saxon” mean?
"So what does “Vote Saxon” mean?
If I saw this on a banner, my first reaction would be to think I was being asked to vote for a political party that would ban immigration into Britain.
My first reaction is probably wrong in your case, Vote Saxon, because I have no idea what the imperative “vote” and the adjective or noun “Saxon” mean to you. I’d like to know what it does mean now because I’m curious. That doesn’t mean you have to tell me, though."
BWAAAAAHAHAHAH. Don't they have Google on the New Zealand intartubes?
Oh and Carol Spiak of Utica NY. Don't use your real name on a message board if you intend to defame someone. Especially if that someone has waaay too much free time.
ps - UK people - Tesco have all NRT on BOGOF if you're planning on quitting his weekend. Remember, God Hates Fags!*
*pps - Non-UK people - I mean 'fags' as in the British slang for cigarettes, not in a Westboro Baptist Church way!
-My mobile was cut off because O2 ...erm, didn't bill me. Idiots.
-Poor Kelly is still big and round, full of cold and snot, and baby. They won't induce.
-I'm refusing to do what the Migraine Monster wants so it is kicking my arse.
-I got a c&d email from Paramount for downloading The Machinist, because the legal dvd I bought won't play in any pcs due to 'cyclic redundancy errors'.
-I have a pressure headache that makes me feel like my teeth are vibrating
The rabbits are engaged in a War on Things. Essentially this means that if it exists, they hate it. They will bite or scratch it into submission. Tonight I will lace their treats with vodka, and play the "Raaaar" game in a lacklustre fashion as punishment.
I feel bad because I can't be bothered to cook today, however Lisa's thrilled because that means she gets to eat Super Noodles with cut-up hotdogs. I love her for that! Have postponed tonight's 1am shopping trip to stay home and watch House and Six Feet Under.
After watching Everybody Hates Chris we have decided that we NEED to get a copy of Night of the Lepus. Anyone seen it? We're terribly excited!
Last thing, #...here come the drums, here come the drums, baby, baby, baby, you are my voodoo child, my voodoo child...# That was ace. When the phrase "Here come the drums" was uttered mid-episode I actually started singing that, although I used the Burtie and Buttons alt. lyrics and substituted 'Moomin Pie' for 'Voodoo Child'. Imagine my fat-faced glee when Saxon waved his hands and it started playing. I nearly done a wee on myself! I'll be sad when it's over. When are Torchwood and Ashes to Ashes due?
-Poor Kelly is still big and round, full of cold and snot, and baby. They won't induce.
-I'm refusing to do what the Migraine Monster wants so it is kicking my arse.
-I got a c&d email from Paramount for downloading The Machinist, because the legal dvd I bought won't play in any pcs due to 'cyclic redundancy errors'.
-I have a pressure headache that makes me feel like my teeth are vibrating
The rabbits are engaged in a War on Things. Essentially this means that if it exists, they hate it. They will bite or scratch it into submission. Tonight I will lace their treats with vodka, and play the "Raaaar" game in a lacklustre fashion as punishment.
I feel bad because I can't be bothered to cook today, however Lisa's thrilled because that means she gets to eat Super Noodles with cut-up hotdogs. I love her for that! Have postponed tonight's 1am shopping trip to stay home and watch House and Six Feet Under.
After watching Everybody Hates Chris we have decided that we NEED to get a copy of Night of the Lepus. Anyone seen it? We're terribly excited!
Last thing, #...here come the drums, here come the drums, baby, baby, baby, you are my voodoo child, my voodoo child...# That was ace. When the phrase "Here come the drums" was uttered mid-episode I actually started singing that, although I used the Burtie and Buttons alt. lyrics and substituted 'Moomin Pie' for 'Voodoo Child'. Imagine my fat-faced glee when Saxon waved his hands and it started playing. I nearly done a wee on myself! I'll be sad when it's over. When are Torchwood and Ashes to Ashes due?
Obligatory Bunny Update
Jun. 22nd, 2007 10:20 pmThey're bigger and beastlier all the time. Fortunately they'll be getting the snip soon, so no more barking bunnies.
Boo-bee-doop
Jun. 22nd, 2007 09:42 pmWhy isn't it tomorrow yet? WHY? So tempted to put myself in some sort of coma then wake up in eight days time to watch Doctor Who. The stress and excitement - it hurts me! I haven't been this excited about telly stuff in a long time.
Gyno appointment on Wednesday actually went well. I mean yeah, I had to wait from 15:10 till 16:55, and only saw the doc for ten minutes, but at least she didn't call me a fat twat this time, and reduce me to tears! We did some interesting people-watching while we waited, although I could've done without seeing a spoiled, pregnant 15 year old in a skirt so short that I did actually see her chuff three times, and her arse cheeks were visible from the back, and the crack was above the waistband! Obscene. Cluebat - if you need to hold your medical notes over your legs every time you move, your skirt is too short. I honestly felt like a pervert just being sat in the same building as her! She was with her mother and spent her whole time there (thankfully that was only for half an hour) saying things like "But Mummy I WANT [this]" or "But all my friends are!" Argh. I hope to see her there in six months when I have my next appointment, just so I can see how being almost full-term impacts her sartorial choices.
Speaking of full-term, I wish Kelly would hurry up and have this kid. She was due on Monday, and they're threatening an induction next Monday if Her Royal Highness (who I have pre-emptively named Asboe) doesn't show up over the weekend.
Oh and guess what? Got my neuro appointment through, it's actually going to be at Newcastle, wahey! Not till mid-July, so no work for me until then, but it's something to look forward to!
And finally, I've been stricken by the love-bug again. I seem to spend an almost indecent amount of time mooning over poor Lisa. I'm also vomiting a lot and eating odd stuff. Hmmm... Maybe I'm not a fat hippo, maybe I'm having a magical, no-spunk required, 3-types of contraception defeating baby! Watch this space :)
Gyno appointment on Wednesday actually went well. I mean yeah, I had to wait from 15:10 till 16:55, and only saw the doc for ten minutes, but at least she didn't call me a fat twat this time, and reduce me to tears! We did some interesting people-watching while we waited, although I could've done without seeing a spoiled, pregnant 15 year old in a skirt so short that I did actually see her chuff three times, and her arse cheeks were visible from the back, and the crack was above the waistband! Obscene. Cluebat - if you need to hold your medical notes over your legs every time you move, your skirt is too short. I honestly felt like a pervert just being sat in the same building as her! She was with her mother and spent her whole time there (thankfully that was only for half an hour) saying things like "But Mummy I WANT [this]" or "But all my friends are!" Argh. I hope to see her there in six months when I have my next appointment, just so I can see how being almost full-term impacts her sartorial choices.
Speaking of full-term, I wish Kelly would hurry up and have this kid. She was due on Monday, and they're threatening an induction next Monday if Her Royal Highness (who I have pre-emptively named Asboe) doesn't show up over the weekend.
Oh and guess what? Got my neuro appointment through, it's actually going to be at Newcastle, wahey! Not till mid-July, so no work for me until then, but it's something to look forward to!
And finally, I've been stricken by the love-bug again. I seem to spend an almost indecent amount of time mooning over poor Lisa. I'm also vomiting a lot and eating odd stuff. Hmmm... Maybe I'm not a fat hippo, maybe I'm having a magical, no-spunk required, 3-types of contraception defeating baby! Watch this space :)
I feel almost human again. Some of the angst has gone after unburdening myself here last night. I just have to figure out what to do about it all.
Anyway, I've been watching Jesus Camp, scary stuff. Making four year olds cry over abortion? Telling little children that science is all a conspiracy of the Devil? Wow. My favourite bit was where the preacher lady said something along the lines of "Look at our enemies. They're indoctrinating poor little kids, they brainwash 'em in camps. These children think nothing of blowing themselves up, or committing acts of terrorism for their God. So anyway, I thought it was time I did something like that for Christian kids". Mindboggling.
Anyone else seen it?
Oh and there was just a bloody spider on ME. I squealed, and Lisa (on the phone to me from work) laughed. She has to sleep sometime, the rotten cow!
Anyway, I've been watching Jesus Camp, scary stuff. Making four year olds cry over abortion? Telling little children that science is all a conspiracy of the Devil? Wow. My favourite bit was where the preacher lady said something along the lines of "Look at our enemies. They're indoctrinating poor little kids, they brainwash 'em in camps. These children think nothing of blowing themselves up, or committing acts of terrorism for their God. So anyway, I thought it was time I did something like that for Christian kids". Mindboggling.
Anyone else seen it?
Oh and there was just a bloody spider on ME. I squealed, and Lisa (on the phone to me from work) laughed. She has to sleep sometime, the rotten cow!
I owe comments, I have housework to do, I should eat, but this headache is riding roughshod over me. My eyes are all kinds of squiffy. I still haven't heard from the hospital, my sick-note runs out in two weeks. My original "fortnight off for depression and anxiety" (caused by the headaches) was six months ago. I'm going out of my tiny mind here!
Blah blah, Lyns whining again, blah blah blah.
Lisa's at work, due back in an hour and a half, yay! We had a brilliant two days off together. Lunch at our favourite pub, we went to see Zodiac, saw her dad and my parents, and were just generally sickeningly lovey-dovey. Vomit-inducing, I know, but I never thought I could be so happy that my heart would feel like it was in a centrifuge, or my face would ache from laughing so much. I didn't even scream at my mother once! Although I did finally get confirmation that my dad is like.. really, really gay. I'm not too weirded out tbh, I've suspected this for about 8 years, but seeing "Gay Army Boys 4" on his download list in Ares was the kicker. Is it wrong that I was even 1% tempted to ask for a copy? That Triga and Bel Ami stuff is usually quite good!
Anyone else got a gay dad? I wish it was the sort of thing I could discuss with him, but it's too weird, y'know? Maybe he's just bisexual. I'm sure that's why my parents didn't kick off when I came out, gaydar and all that! *ahem*
Oh and my "going back on the pill" experiment is working. No moodswings, no suicidal thoughts over burnt toast, no spots(!). Downside? Sorry to be coarse, but my tits are bigger than ever. They're like sodding Asda bags full of .. something. Maybe Ready Brek? That sounds hot and bothersome enough. I mean, they've always been big, but these are like Hindenboobs. (By which I mean massive and fiery, not helium-filled) Oh teh humanities!!1
Catch ya later. I need to drink and take more pills to restore equilibrium.
Blah blah, Lyns whining again, blah blah blah.
Lisa's at work, due back in an hour and a half, yay! We had a brilliant two days off together. Lunch at our favourite pub, we went to see Zodiac, saw her dad and my parents, and were just generally sickeningly lovey-dovey. Vomit-inducing, I know, but I never thought I could be so happy that my heart would feel like it was in a centrifuge, or my face would ache from laughing so much. I didn't even scream at my mother once! Although I did finally get confirmation that my dad is like.. really, really gay. I'm not too weirded out tbh, I've suspected this for about 8 years, but seeing "Gay Army Boys 4" on his download list in Ares was the kicker. Is it wrong that I was even 1% tempted to ask for a copy? That Triga and Bel Ami stuff is usually quite good!
Anyone else got a gay dad? I wish it was the sort of thing I could discuss with him, but it's too weird, y'know? Maybe he's just bisexual. I'm sure that's why my parents didn't kick off when I came out, gaydar and all that! *ahem*
Oh and my "going back on the pill" experiment is working. No moodswings, no suicidal thoughts over burnt toast, no spots(!). Downside? Sorry to be coarse, but my tits are bigger than ever. They're like sodding Asda bags full of .. something. Maybe Ready Brek? That sounds hot and bothersome enough. I mean, they've always been big, but these are like Hindenboobs. (By which I mean massive and fiery, not helium-filled) Oh teh humanities!!1
Catch ya later. I need to drink and take more pills to restore equilibrium.
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May. 15th, 2007 10:10 pmGanked this from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kyra:
Phelps to picket 'fag enabler' Falwell's funeral
Lions, and tigers, and bears, OH MY!
Falwell - I pray your God grants you forgiveness.
Tonight I will be marking his passing in the best possible way. Yeah baby!
kyra:Phelps to picket 'fag enabler' Falwell's funeral
Lions, and tigers, and bears, OH MY!
Falwell - I pray your God grants you forgiveness.
Tonight I will be marking his passing in the best possible way. Yeah baby!
This headache won't go away, and it's making me act like a twat, I know it is. I'm snappy and emotional, bleaaaaargggghhhh.
So, tonight I had a lovely long shower while Lisa sat in the doorway, stopping the fat-rabbits from sneaking in and perving on me. Well actually, just to stop them chewing on the towels! I sang The Headmaster Ritual, and Dagenham Dave, and made myself feel human again. Then we sat on the landing and played with the bunnies, while singing Smiths and Moz songs in a club singer stylee. After that there was chocolate cake, cherry coke, cuddles and codeine. I feel better now! Our neighbours must think we're mental. Luckily for us our direct neighbours are a) our best friends and b) subject to blackmail if they divulge the true nature of my loopiness. I will steal their pussycat and turn her into a manhater!
What things are guaranteed to put a smile on your face?
So, tonight I had a lovely long shower while Lisa sat in the doorway, stopping the fat-rabbits from sneaking in and perving on me. Well actually, just to stop them chewing on the towels! I sang The Headmaster Ritual, and Dagenham Dave, and made myself feel human again. Then we sat on the landing and played with the bunnies, while singing Smiths and Moz songs in a club singer stylee. After that there was chocolate cake, cherry coke, cuddles and codeine. I feel better now! Our neighbours must think we're mental. Luckily for us our direct neighbours are a) our best friends and b) subject to blackmail if they divulge the true nature of my loopiness. I will steal their pussycat and turn her into a manhater!
What things are guaranteed to put a smile on your face?
