Ah, a compromise

[paraxeni]

I've written and canned three posts today because of the uncontrollable grudgey rage, so I'm gonna get it out via clumsy analogies for now. 

  I am a disabled woman.  I haven't always been that way, but I am now.  Would you ever ask me to give up Wheelson, or ditch the assistive tech. I use, just because I once had the privilege of being able-bodied?
 
I was born gay, but didn't come out until 1999.  Therefore I benefitted from the privilege of appearing to be heterosexual, even though I wasn't.  Even now, unless I'm snogging Miss Buttons in front of you and singing 'Glad to be Gay'' then I 'pass'.  Am I less of a lesbian for any of that? Do you have the right to call me bisexual or heterosexual because I've kissed boys in my dim, distant past?

  You're thinking "Shit, is Burt on crack?  Has she overdone the fizzy pop and painkillers?  None of this makes sense"  You're right, it doesn't.   But today I've seen people, people I thought were rational and sensible, ungendering a trans woman, calling her 'It' and 'Him' because she expressed views they don't agree with. Why is this ok?  Because "OMG TRANS WOMEN HAVE MALE PRIVILEGE".  Really?  That'll be why they're raped, and killed, and denied healthcare then, 'cos of their powerful links to the patriarchy. That'll be why they're overwhelmingly poor, unemployed, homeless, marginalised,  decimated by HIV/AIDS, because they are DA MAAAAAN.  And as we all know, penis=power.  YEah, they'll let you call yourself a woman, but put a foot wrong and BOOM, you're an It-girl, and not the Paris Hylton type.  Ahem.  Sorry for the spillage, I'll clean up later.


Oh and refusion ?  Snowflakes are tiny litle things, but that one I noticed yesterday may have actually saved my sanity and dragged me back to the real world.  Many smooches.

Comments

[kaowolfie.livejournal.com]

On AIM, I said this to my best friend: "I also want to punch people who think trans women have male privilege. That is not how male privilege works. The instant you start giving the impression that maybe you aren't a macho manly man, you start losing male privilege. The instant you set foot outside your house en femme and people you know see you, or you begin to live as a woman, you will never have male privilege again."

I wanted to spit on the people who were saying that dark elf girl "sounded male", then clearly her reasons for transitioning were wrong and invalid. I mean, REALLY? I get mistaken for a guy online an awful lot; am I not a woman now? Oh wait, no one would even think about saying that to me, because I was FAAB. Of course I'm a woman, unless of course I'm FTM, in which case... of course I'm a woman. But MAAB? Nope, no matter what you do, you're a man and totes have male privilege, regardless of your gender identity, and urghhhhhhhh stab stab stab stab.

Also side note, the person who posted that stupid? She has previously argued that it's okay for her women's college to allow trans men to attend despite living as men, because of course they can't afford to attend any other good schools, while refusing to discuss how bullshit it is that her school won't allow trans women to enroll at all.

I swear to god, most of the people on this planet can't be happy unless they're pissing on at least a subset of women at all times.

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that post. I can't even gather my thoughts about it beyond AAAAAAARRRGH.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the coupon! I'm going to use it soon. I can't wait, because I think it'll give me a renewed love for LJ.

[maeveenroute.livejournal.com]

Do you have the right to call me bisexual or heterosexual because I've kissed boys in my dim, distant past?

As it turns out, some people would say "yes." Possibly the same people who are the problem in a lot of trans discussions, come to think of it.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

After reading the comments on your post, I feel like I've missed something huge. Something huge that will make me want to kill things when/if I stumble on it later.

[rhae.livejournal.com]

That was a bad post. I was fine with discussing her sexist comments, but then people started questioning her identity. I tried to defend her, because even though I was against her views on women it's fucked up to imply that her reasons for transitioning are "wrong" or that she's not a real woman because she has sexist views (surprise--plenty of other women do, and they didn't lose their woman cards). I really wish it had never been posted there at all. I wanted to join the thread about "male privilege" but at that point I was thoroughly sick of the post. I'm just glad she never found it, because I have a feeling it would have gotten much worse. :(

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

Oh god, people are still commenting, that means I have to keep checking it. Anyone want my mod hat for the day?