Ah, a compromise

[paraxeni]

I've written and canned three posts today because of the uncontrollable grudgey rage, so I'm gonna get it out via clumsy analogies for now. 

  I am a disabled woman.  I haven't always been that way, but I am now.  Would you ever ask me to give up Wheelson, or ditch the assistive tech. I use, just because I once had the privilege of being able-bodied?
 
I was born gay, but didn't come out until 1999.  Therefore I benefitted from the privilege of appearing to be heterosexual, even though I wasn't.  Even now, unless I'm snogging Miss Buttons in front of you and singing 'Glad to be Gay'' then I 'pass'.  Am I less of a lesbian for any of that? Do you have the right to call me bisexual or heterosexual because I've kissed boys in my dim, distant past?

  You're thinking "Shit, is Burt on crack?  Has she overdone the fizzy pop and painkillers?  None of this makes sense"  You're right, it doesn't.   But today I've seen people, people I thought were rational and sensible, ungendering a trans woman, calling her 'It' and 'Him' because she expressed views they don't agree with. Why is this ok?  Because "OMG TRANS WOMEN HAVE MALE PRIVILEGE".  Really?  That'll be why they're raped, and killed, and denied healthcare then, 'cos of their powerful links to the patriarchy. That'll be why they're overwhelmingly poor, unemployed, homeless, marginalised,  decimated by HIV/AIDS, because they are DA MAAAAAN.  And as we all know, penis=power.  YEah, they'll let you call yourself a woman, but put a foot wrong and BOOM, you're an It-girl, and not the Paris Hylton type.  Ahem.  Sorry for the spillage, I'll clean up later.


Oh and refusion ?  Snowflakes are tiny litle things, but that one I noticed yesterday may have actually saved my sanity and dragged me back to the real world.  Many smooches.

Comments

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that post. I can't even gather my thoughts about it beyond AAAAAAARRRGH.

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

I know right? I read it when I woke up and thought I had to be fucking dreaming or something, hence the angry comment and quick retreat to mull it all over in my head.

I was wondering how long it would take for some of the newly-minted fake-lefty ally squad to slip up, and now I know.

I was already seething after a comment on one of yesterday's posts saying "When people say they were good kids because they were disciplined, they mean they were abused. Now they're all bitter and angry about it because some kids aren't beaten"

Whoa, back up that pony, abused kids that grow up don't look back fondly on their childhoods y'say? It never even crosses their feeble little minds that the very reason some people choose to not have children is because of that abuse and trauma. Hell, maybe some of those former abused children feel that they couldn't trust themselves to make the right decisions for a future child, because they have no idea what 'normal' childhood is themselves. I'd really love some of those posters to take a sabbaticsl, courtesy of a snooker ball in a sock around the head. SAdly I cannot yet do that over internet protocol. HMPH!

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

I did a similar thing: woke up, thought "A reincarnated drow? Srsly? Top!" then read the comments in vary degrees of |: /: ): D:

Almost the same thing happened on fandom_wank earlier this week with the bloody VB/AB thing, with people misgendering a trans man 'because he's a known conman.' And I just don't understand why some cis people lying about their gender has anything to do with anything, unless someone's more concerned about some cis person 'putting one over on them' (paraphrased but damn close to actual sentences I've encountered) than not being a fucking offensive shitnoggin to actual trans people.

That lullabee person bothers me too, because she seems to be really eager to leap into the fray but then leaves her own arse hanging out in ways that make me wary. IDK. (not saying I'm perfect, but yanno.)

...JFC, there is so much wrong with that abuse comment I'm still trying to get my head around it.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

WHY COULD THEY NOT HAVE CONCENTRATED ON THE DROW BIT.

Honestly, I almost banned everyone.

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

NGL, I think the wank that would have erupted from a mass banning would have been amazing to behold.