Ah, a compromise

[paraxeni]

I've written and canned three posts today because of the uncontrollable grudgey rage, so I'm gonna get it out via clumsy analogies for now. 

  I am a disabled woman.  I haven't always been that way, but I am now.  Would you ever ask me to give up Wheelson, or ditch the assistive tech. I use, just because I once had the privilege of being able-bodied?
 
I was born gay, but didn't come out until 1999.  Therefore I benefitted from the privilege of appearing to be heterosexual, even though I wasn't.  Even now, unless I'm snogging Miss Buttons in front of you and singing 'Glad to be Gay'' then I 'pass'.  Am I less of a lesbian for any of that? Do you have the right to call me bisexual or heterosexual because I've kissed boys in my dim, distant past?

  You're thinking "Shit, is Burt on crack?  Has she overdone the fizzy pop and painkillers?  None of this makes sense"  You're right, it doesn't.   But today I've seen people, people I thought were rational and sensible, ungendering a trans woman, calling her 'It' and 'Him' because she expressed views they don't agree with. Why is this ok?  Because "OMG TRANS WOMEN HAVE MALE PRIVILEGE".  Really?  That'll be why they're raped, and killed, and denied healthcare then, 'cos of their powerful links to the patriarchy. That'll be why they're overwhelmingly poor, unemployed, homeless, marginalised,  decimated by HIV/AIDS, because they are DA MAAAAAN.  And as we all know, penis=power.  YEah, they'll let you call yourself a woman, but put a foot wrong and BOOM, you're an It-girl, and not the Paris Hylton type.  Ahem.  Sorry for the spillage, I'll clean up later.


Oh and refusion ?  Snowflakes are tiny litle things, but that one I noticed yesterday may have actually saved my sanity and dragged me back to the real world.  Many smooches.

Comments

[kaowolfie.livejournal.com]

On AIM, I said this to my best friend: "I also want to punch people who think trans women have male privilege. That is not how male privilege works. The instant you start giving the impression that maybe you aren't a macho manly man, you start losing male privilege. The instant you set foot outside your house en femme and people you know see you, or you begin to live as a woman, you will never have male privilege again."

I wanted to spit on the people who were saying that dark elf girl "sounded male", then clearly her reasons for transitioning were wrong and invalid. I mean, REALLY? I get mistaken for a guy online an awful lot; am I not a woman now? Oh wait, no one would even think about saying that to me, because I was FAAB. Of course I'm a woman, unless of course I'm FTM, in which case... of course I'm a woman. But MAAB? Nope, no matter what you do, you're a man and totes have male privilege, regardless of your gender identity, and urghhhhhhhh stab stab stab stab.

Also side note, the person who posted that stupid? She has previously argued that it's okay for her women's college to allow trans men to attend despite living as men, because of course they can't afford to attend any other good schools, while refusing to discuss how bullshit it is that her school won't allow trans women to enroll at all.

I swear to god, most of the people on this planet can't be happy unless they're pissing on at least a subset of women at all times.

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

oh THAT's where I remember her name (and my annoyance at it) from. Thank you for that! Yeah, she's guilty of the other side of the trans fail coin. To that crowd trans men are only really super-caffeinated, extra butch, non-threatening 'bois' to practice their 'diversity' on. Then they crush on a trans man, suddenly proclaim themselves 'queer', and invalidate the guy's identity on the spot, and cry when said guy reminds them that he is in fact, just a straight guy, and won't be going to Pride march with them.

*headdesk*

Oh yesssss. One of those women who thinks they can get to the top of the pile by kicking trans women, poor women, disabled women and WOC to the bottom, and then proclaims herself a 'feminist'. Lol forever.

ps hope your dad's feeling beter, big hugs.

[kaowolfie.livejournal.com]

She's very... young and that's the nicest thing I can say about her. I is not perfect and I fuck it up sometimes despite trying to not stomp on people with privileged boots, but I think she's got herself convinced that she never owned a pair of such boots to begin with. I rather wish she wasn't going to a women's school, since I think attending an actually diverse campus could have done her a world of good.

& Dad's fine, at least now that our little terrier has stopped sitting on him. (She was convinced that if she snuggled Daddy, he couldn't leave again.) But thank you! *hug*

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that post. I can't even gather my thoughts about it beyond AAAAAAARRRGH.

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

I know right? I read it when I woke up and thought I had to be fucking dreaming or something, hence the angry comment and quick retreat to mull it all over in my head.

I was wondering how long it would take for some of the newly-minted fake-lefty ally squad to slip up, and now I know.

I was already seething after a comment on one of yesterday's posts saying "When people say they were good kids because they were disciplined, they mean they were abused. Now they're all bitter and angry about it because some kids aren't beaten"

Whoa, back up that pony, abused kids that grow up don't look back fondly on their childhoods y'say? It never even crosses their feeble little minds that the very reason some people choose to not have children is because of that abuse and trauma. Hell, maybe some of those former abused children feel that they couldn't trust themselves to make the right decisions for a future child, because they have no idea what 'normal' childhood is themselves. I'd really love some of those posters to take a sabbaticsl, courtesy of a snooker ball in a sock around the head. SAdly I cannot yet do that over internet protocol. HMPH!

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

I did a similar thing: woke up, thought "A reincarnated drow? Srsly? Top!" then read the comments in vary degrees of |: /: ): D:

Almost the same thing happened on fandom_wank earlier this week with the bloody VB/AB thing, with people misgendering a trans man 'because he's a known conman.' And I just don't understand why some cis people lying about their gender has anything to do with anything, unless someone's more concerned about some cis person 'putting one over on them' (paraphrased but damn close to actual sentences I've encountered) than not being a fucking offensive shitnoggin to actual trans people.

That lullabee person bothers me too, because she seems to be really eager to leap into the fray but then leaves her own arse hanging out in ways that make me wary. IDK. (not saying I'm perfect, but yanno.)

...JFC, there is so much wrong with that abuse comment I'm still trying to get my head around it.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

WHY COULD THEY NOT HAVE CONCENTRATED ON THE DROW BIT.

Honestly, I almost banned everyone.

[theo-harrison.livejournal.com]

NGL, I think the wank that would have erupted from a mass banning would have been amazing to behold.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the coupon! I'm going to use it soon. I can't wait, because I think it'll give me a renewed love for LJ.

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

No probs! I had to try twelve times to get yours to send :S Christmas gremlins no doubt..

[tokio.livejournal.com]

OMG. There's a pretty big caveat with that upgrade discount you guys got to send out. If you use the coupon and upgrade, you don't actually get any extra userpics or storage! WTF!! You know, they should have just sent everyone with a paid account something THEY could use for THEIR journal rather than trying to rip everyone off in general.

[maeveenroute.livejournal.com]

Do you have the right to call me bisexual or heterosexual because I've kissed boys in my dim, distant past?

As it turns out, some people would say "yes." Possibly the same people who are the problem in a lot of trans discussions, come to think of it.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

After reading the comments on your post, I feel like I've missed something huge. Something huge that will make me want to kill things when/if I stumble on it later.

[rhae.livejournal.com]

That was a bad post. I was fine with discussing her sexist comments, but then people started questioning her identity. I tried to defend her, because even though I was against her views on women it's fucked up to imply that her reasons for transitioning are "wrong" or that she's not a real woman because she has sexist views (surprise--plenty of other women do, and they didn't lose their woman cards). I really wish it had never been posted there at all. I wanted to join the thread about "male privilege" but at that point I was thoroughly sick of the post. I'm just glad she never found it, because I have a feeling it would have gotten much worse. :(

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

Oh god, people are still commenting, that means I have to keep checking it. Anyone want my mod hat for the day?